...and performing it - that should be one the most natural things - and it was natural for the classic music until ~100 years ago. It is natural for most other music genre like jazz, rock or folk music. It is healthy to perform the music you have written, you will learn what is possible to transfer to the listener and what is just theory. If you start your composition outside the instruments, e.g with a tone generating system like tone rows or mathematical formulas, the result may look amazing on the paper - but it will be for sure very difficult and uncomfortable to play - not to saw impossible, that is the big disadvantage of composition systems. To avoid the so-called idiomatic writing for an instrument leads to music which is really painful to perform (and mostly also to listen to). Music which is not fun to play will disappear. The performers decide what will be played. The programs of the most piano recitals of today consists of the music written by composers who performed as well: Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, Debussy, Ravel...
It is worth to perform your own music.
